Tho' Your Heart is Aching

Tho’ Your Heart is Aching

by Carlyn Holland

Character 1: female – has headphones on and an ipod [18 – mid 20’s; expression found in music]

Character 2: male – has a Bible in his hand [16 – mid 20’s; expression found in questions]

Character 3: male – has red bandanas around each wrist [15 – 19; expression found in poetry]

Character 4: male [20’s; dramatized by a film noir voice over]

[All characters are in position but the stage is completely black. Spotlight appears on Character 1,who is on her knees. There is melancholy music playing.]

Character 1: “I am like every one of you watching me right now. I feel the same pain that you felt when that special someone told you that you were no longer as special as you once were. I feel the same hurt that you felt when you realized that what you meant to them was nothing compared to how much they had meant to you. A lot of you have probably been made second to someone who is apparently much better than yourself; been the second choice that never got made. I know what it’s like to be in the shadow of some great.”

“I love too easily and am hurt far easier. But I long for that someone so strongly, with every fiber of my being that I destroy my already broken self over and over again by hoping that maybe this time, he will really mean what he says. But I guess, when you’re a romantic, everything sounds like magic….”

[Spotlight and music off. Spotlight appears on Character 2, who is standing, facing the audience with his head turned towards the ceiling.]

Character 2: “God! I don’t know if I can fake this any longer. I’m tired of lying to those around me; telling them that I agree with what they’re saying. But I don’t. I don’t know what the hell they’re even talking about. I know what I’ve been told all my life. And I know what I’m supposed to believe. But I don’t know if I do. If I even hinted to these thoughts to my parents or friends, there’d be an exorcism! Why is it so wrong to have doubts about what I believe? I’m only human. I’m known to fail quite often. But this certain “failure” is made out to be almost unforgivable. It’s as if I’m defacing the very idea of You by asking a question.”

“It’s not that I don’t think You’re there. I’m just tired of believing what everyone else says is truth. I want my own truth. I want to believe what I believe because that’s what I’ve decided to believe and not because it’s what I’m told to be what’s right. I don’t want to be a “perfect” little Christian who has all the answers and right things to say. I want to be a strong individual who has a relationship with the One that they trust with all their heart and believe in with all their might because they really know what and Who they believe in.”

[Spotlight off. Bongos sound and a spotlight appears on Character 3, who is standing with their back towards the audience.]

Character 3: “I sit

And I stand

And I see you not looking.

You think I’m scary.

Talk to me.

I’ll show you.

If scary is someone who has never been spoken to

Then yes….

I’m pretty damn scary.

Most people don’t even know my name,

My title,

My pseu-do-nym.

Then how could you know

That I hurt,

And long,

And pine….

Just for a kind word,

A smile,

Or brush on the shoulder

That proves to me that I do exist and am seen…

Past what’s in my head…

And in my mirror…

And in these words.

I see me, or what I understand to be whoever it is that I am.

Who I am I really don’t know.

Most people are defined by who they know….

Or who knows them.

I know no one….

And no one knows me.

The only thing that causes me to feel any sort of emotion

Other than that of being alone…

It is cold…

And sharp…

And glistens in the light.

But you wouldn’t know about that would you?

You’d actually have to see me,

To see the scars…

That I so unashamedly display.”

[Bongos sound and spotlight goes off. Spotlight appears, along with jazz music and the sound of rain, on Character 4, who is sitting in a chair, facing downstage right, with his head in his hands. Character 4 never actually speaks. His lines are presented by a film noir off-stage voice.]

Character 4: “He was a rare kind of man. The kind that you wished there were more of. Sure he had his faults; his problems. But he never talked about them. He just dealt with them, silently, in his own way. He never burdened anyone with anything. He was a nice guy. He loved talking to people. He could strike up a conversation with any sort of stranger in any sort of place. It was his favorite pastime, and he had a lot of free time.”

[Spotlight, music and rain off. Spotlight appears on Character 1, who is on her knees. There is warm, light-hearted music playing. ]

Character 1: “I met this one guy, at a coffee shop. He sat down at the table next to me….and smiled. He had a gorgeous smile. His eyes smiled too. They were the kind that drew you in instantly, and you knew that he could be trusted. But I see that in a lot of guy’s eyes. Some of the sweetest ones ended up lying. But this guy, I don’t think was capable of a lie.”

“I smiled back, and he told me that I had the prettiest eyes he had seen all day. That was the only thing he said the entire conversation that had any resemblance of flirting. I realized that he just wanted to talk. He asked me questions about myself and he seemed genuinely interested. We talked about everything under the sun. I don’t even know how we came up with some of the things we talked about. I just know that after I left, I realized that for the first time in months, I wasn’t on the verge of tears. And I’m pretty sure, I was smiling because I was happy, and not because I was pretending to be.”

[Spotlight and music off. Spotlight appears on Character 2, who is standing facing the audience with his head turned towards the ceiling.]

Character 2: “I was getting coffee the other day and this guy walks over to my table, smiles at me and then starts up a conversation. It was kind of awkward at first because I had never met this guy before, but something about him kept me interested. He asked about my friends, and I laughed this cynical type of laugh. That was a mistake. He knew instantly that I had a story to tell about the people in my life. And somehow, he got it out of me! I’ve never met this guy before and here I am telling him about how I have denounced everything I believe about You only so I can rebuild my faith on what I choose and not what I’m told to choose. I told him about how everyone in my life was beating me down when all I needed was support; someone to tell me that it’s ok to ask questions.”

“This conversation went on for hours and by the end of it, I was really expecting to be preached at or ridiculed or yelled at. But the guy just smiled and congratulated me. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if he was serious or mocking me. I asked him why he congratulated me and he said, “For being one of the few in this world who fully understand the idea of faith.” I was still a little confused and he saw that so he went on, “Most people see faith as what is preached to them in church or by the elders. But faith is an individual experience all centered on the idea of love, love in any form. Even Jesus said the most important of these is love. It doesn’t matter how you get to God, as long as you get there with love.” He was the first person to ever make me feel like I wasn’t a traitor.”

[Spotlight off. Bongos sound and a spotlight appears on Character 3, who is standing with their back towards the audience.]

Character 3: “I come here often

To sip my coffee

And watch you chatter about your lives

While I write, pathetically, about my lack of one.

Sometimes I even perform,

On nights where the mic is open.

But you don’t hear what I say

Because you’re too consumed

With the pathetic ramblings of those who apparently matter

More than I ever have or ever will.”

“But then he walked in

And sat down at a table right in front of me

And listened.

He never took his eyes off of me while I spoke.

He never even bought coffee or

Met someone later on.

He walked in

Sat down

And listened to what I had to say.

Before he left...

He smiled.”

[Bongos sound and spotlight goes off. Spotlight appears, along with jazz music and the sound of rain, on Character 4, who is sitting in a chair, facing downstage right, with his head in his hands. Character 4 never actually speaks. His lines are presented by a film noir off-stage voice.]

Character 4: “That’s how I met him; at a coffee shop one day. I like to watch people and I had seen him come in the door. I could tell that he was thinking about something real hard, but I’m not much of a talker, so I didn’t say anything when he sat down at the table next to me. But like I said, he loved talking to people. He looked over at me and smiled, and just starting talking. We talked for hours at that coffee shop. We went through probably what were 3 pots of coffee. I don’t even remember what we talked about to be honest. I just know that when I left, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so cheerful and important. I can’t explain it. I just know that he had made my day, with just a simple conversation. I couldn’t get him off my mind for the rest of the day. I even smiled at a stranger that I passed on the sidewalk, and I never smile at people. I never really thought anyone deserved my smile unless they did something nice for me. I wasn’t about to give something like that of myself to a stranger who did nothing to deserve it. But after meeting him, I couldn’t help but smile.”

[Spotlight, music and rain off.]