Patience. I hate the word. Every time I find myself in a situation that I am happy in, comfortable with and even hopeful about, it is taken away from and I am made to wait. But, after 11 months, I have come to realize that patience isn't the issue. It's a trust thing. It's not about wanting it to happen now. It's about trusting that it will happen eventually.
The same thing applies when we have an issue with accepting grace. Yes we all have fallen short and have continually failed the God that we love and thus we have a hard time accepting forgiveness. But our inability to accept God's love has nothing to do with our inability to accept and move on from our failures. It is really our inability to trust God to overlook those things and love us despite the fact. In doing so, we are limiting God's ability to love and denying his gift of grace. This is what Jesus died for. When we refuse to accept God's grace we refuse to accept Jesus' gift of the cross. In a way, we belittle his act of sacrifice. Next time you fail, and you will, and you refuse to let yourself accept the fact that God loves you anyway, remember that you're being selfish. You can do nothing so horrifying that God is incapable of loving you. Get over yourself and let Love happen.
Back to the whole patience versus trust thing. As a human, I really do hate the idea and practice of patience. I want things to happen in my time, when I want them to. But, I'm ok with things happening in God's time. I'm o.k. with that, I really am. I'm just worried that something's going to happen that God's not going to count on and things are going to get messed up. That whole thought is completely ridiculous!! We have no idea what is going to happen towards the end of the week, let alone at the end of 4 years! My mind cannot comprehend God's ability to see now and forever. The fact that God has taken his time to plan out my entire life down to the dual colors of my eyes is so foreign to me. So, patience all comes down to trust. The fear of things not happening is so human it's almost disgusting when compared to the brilliance of God. This is all very random and unorganized but such are the thoughts in my head right now. At least I made an effort to put it on paper and share it with you all. That's what I got out of my reading this morning, something I haven't done for quite a while, but hope to make it habit.
Excellent indeed, I concur wholeheartedly.
ReplyDeleteI find it amazing how all (or nearly all) problems that I face have their root in me focusing on myself in one way or another.