Monday, October 12, 2009

"It was a pleasure to burn..."


The following is the introduction by Ray Bradbury to the illustrated adaptation of Fahrenheit 451. I love what he says about the connection between writing and the author.


"Back in 1950, I dined out one night with a friend. Later in the evening we were walking along Wilshire Boulevard when a police car stopped and an officer got out and asked us what we were doing.
'Putting one foot in front of the other,' I said, not very helpfully.
The policeman kept questioning us as to why we were being pedestrians, as if by taking a late-night stroll we were coming perilously close to breaking the law. Irritated, I went home and wrote a story called 'The Pedestrian.'
Several weeks later, I took my pedestrian out for a literary walk where he encountered a young girl named Clarisse McClellan. Seven days later, the first draft of The Fireman was finished, which was the novella that turned into Fahrenheit 451 not long after.
Some years later, looking back, I thought 'The Pedestrian' was the true source of Fahrenheit 451, but my memory was incorrect. I now realize other things were at work in my subconscious.
It is only now, some fifty years after that L.A. police officer challenged my right to be a pedestrian, that I see the odd ideas that rose to perform in short stories, which went unnoticed as I wrote them.
I wrote a tale about the greatest fantasy authors in history being exiled to Mars while their books were burned on Earth. That became a story called 'The Exiles.'
I wrote another tale, 'Usher II,' in which my hero complains that he, as a fantasy writer, is rejected by the intellectuals on Earth who make fun of the grotesques that sprang up in the tales of Edgar Allan Poe and other similar authors.
And years before that, I published another novella, called Pillar Of Fire, in which a dead man rises from the grave to reenact the strange lives of Dracula and Frankenstein's monster.
All of these stories were forgotten when I first wrote Fahrenheit 451. But they were still there, somewhere, percolating in my subconscious.
What you have before you now is a further rejuvenation of a book that was once a short novel that was once a short story that was once a walk around the block, a rising up in a graveyard, and a final fall of the House of Usher.
My subconscious is more complicated than I ever imagined. I've learned over the years to let it run rampant and offer me its ideas as they come, giving them no preference and no special treatment. When the time is right, somehow they coalesce and erupt from my subconscious and spill onto the page.
In the case of the final version of Fahrenheit 451, illustrated here, I brought all my characters onstage again and ran them through my typewriter, letting my fingers tell the stories and bring forth the ghosts of other tales from other times.
I am the hero, Montag, and a good part of me is also Clarisse McClellan. A darker side of me is the fire chief, Beatty, and my philosophical capacities are represented by the philosopher Faber.
I put them all together, shook them up, and poured them forth, pretending not to notice what I was doing. At the end of a number of days and a further number of weeks, I had a novel.
Thank god that I didn't, at any time in the last twenty or thirty years, know exactly what I was doing, so that each of these parts of me was able to step forth and declare itself. Each character in Fahrenheit 451 has his or her moment of truth; I stayed quietly in the background and let them declaim and never interrupted.
So what you have here, now, is a pastiche of my former lives, my former fears, my inhibitions, and my strange and mysterious and unrecognized prediction of the future.
I say all this to inform any teachers or students reading this book that what I did was name a metaphor and let myself run free, allowing my subconscious to surface with all kinds of wild ideas.
Similarly, in the future, if some teacher suggests to his or her students that they conceive metaphors and write essays or stories about them, the young writers should take care not to intellectualize or be self-conscious or overanalyze their metaphors; They should let the metaphors race as fast and furious and freely as possible so that what is stirred up are all the hidden truths at the bottom of the writer's mind.
It would not be proper for me, fifty years on, to overanalyze and pontificate about my book, because it was written by the other me, by the inner self, by the fun-loving and free-ranging young Ray Bradbury.
Finally, may I suggest that anyone reading this introduction should take the time to name the one book that he or she would most want to memorize and protect from any censors or 'firemen.' And not only name the book, but give the reasons why they would wish to memorize it and why it would be a valuable asset to be recited and remembered in the future. I think this would make for a lively session when my readers meet and tell the books they named and memorized, and why."

Monday, July 20, 2009

Praise Without Song


The Bible reads:

"Listen, my people, and I will speak; I will testify against you, Israel:  I am God, your God. I bring no charge against you concerning your sacrifices or concerning your burnt offerings, which are ever before me. I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine. If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the world is mine, and all that is in it. Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats? Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High and call on my in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."  -Psalm 50: 7-15

David Crowder's interpretation of these verses in his book "Praise Habit: Finding God In Sunsets & Sushi" reads:

"This is God, your God, speaking to you. I don't find fault with your acts of worship, the frequent burnt sacrifices you offer. But why should I want you blue-ribbon bull, or more and more goats from your herds? Every creature in the forest is mine, the wild animals on all the mountains. I know every mountain bird by name; the scampering field mice are my friends. If I get hungry, do you think I'd tell you? All creation and its bounty are mine. Do you think I feast on venison or drink droughts of goats' blood? Spread for me a banquet of praise, serve High God a feast of kept promises, And call for help when you're in trouble - I'll help you, and you'll honor me." (Crowder 78-79)

Our purpose here on earth is to bring honor and glory to God. A lot of times, we believe that by living a good life, telling others that we're a Christian and singing songs to Him, we are bringing Him that desired honor and glory.  "We may argue, 'Isn't that praise? Songs = Praise, right?' " (Crowder 82) David Crowder describes them as more like burnt offerings.  The songs that we sing, the hands that we raise and even the tears that we cry are just physical shows of how we want to feel towards God.  When we become emotional at the sound of Christ's death on the cross put into flowery, methodical rhythms we're showing that we feel guilty for putting Christ through that.  When we raise our hands as high above our heads as they will go, we're showing the world how overwhelming Christ's goodness is to us.  But God doesn't need, nor does He want, those melodies of proclamation:

"I don't find fault with your singing songs.  But do you think I'm in great need of music?  Do you think it is too quiet where I am?  Did I not make the air molecules to vibrate and dance in such a way to let melody float from here to there?  Do you think I am in great need of hearing these songs that were my breathings in the first place?" (Crowder 81-82)

Why can this singing become a problem? Because "often they're nothing more than ritual, and at their worst they can be provoking to God."  I know at times I've gone through bad days, or weeks, or even months where I lacked any form of christian support or influence or activity.  Then, once in a group setting of worshipers, the music starts and suddenly I'm overwhelmed by the power, love and mercy of God, simply because of a few lines of a song.  My hands are raised and my eyes are shut with a thin line of tears around the edge.  Then, the next week, when I join these fellow worshipers, it's the same thing.  I feel God wrap His arms around me and I am over come with Love.  The provoking thing to God about this, is that this has been the first time that I've felt His presence all week since the last time I had my hands raised and eyes shut during singing.  

So, while God is asking us to praise Him, it's not just singing that He's asking for. He's asking for "praise living. It is God leaning and shouting, 'I am the center!' and the sum of our lives nodding back in agreement." (Crowder 82)

"According to this psalm, even the simplicity of calling out to Him in times of trouble is considered the truer sacrifice [the truer praise]. How surprising is that? And how easy? Higher than our ritual is the simple acknowledgement that, in truth, He is what we need. We, like the Israelites, often find rescue in the burnt offering [the worship song] and not in the God who is the source of all. We find comfort in the song and not in the Comforter."

So next time your walking down the street humming Amazing Grace to yourself, look up at the sky, watch the squirrel running up the tree, or smile at the stranger walking towards you, and then thank God for the little things that He's placed in your life that are meant to evoke praise. Because "when you begin to find Him in all the stuff of life, everything starts singing. Every moment breaks into song. Every breath becomes sacrifice, and the songs become sweetness. This is living praise." (Crowder 82)



Crowder, David. Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunset and Sushi. NavPress. Colorado Springs, CO. 2004.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Father versus father


God's will and calling is my ultimate desire and duty.  But when it contradicts what your parents want......???  I am beset with the decision between follow my parents order or follow my heart and what I know God is calling me to do this month.  For now, I will do what I can and with the time I have, answer to God.  In a few days, I will confront my parents with the latter and see how they take it.  I'm not looking forward to it, but I have a few days before I have to face them.  Please pray that they will understand, for once, my need to be where God is calling me. 

Sunday, May 31, 2009

My C.S. Lewis


I have never read a book by C.S. Lewis.  So when everyone around me quotes him and raves about him, its magic is lost on me.  Sure, I may have heard one or two quotes by Lewis that I thought were pretty good, but none of them have been life changing for me like they have for some.  My C.S. Lewis would be Brennan Manning, author of The Ragamuffin Gospel.  I love Manning because he is a recovering alcoholic and he admits to it.  He mentions it a few times in his books as examples to emphasize the message he is trying to get across.  He admits his failures and shows his vulnerability.  He admits to being one of the biggest ragamuffins out there.  Each one of his books takes a while to read because there is so much knowledge and wisdom on each page.  I don't have a single book by Brennan Manning that doesn't have a page with something underlined or highlighted in it. 

Today I started reading The Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning.  The subtitle describes the book as "A path to living a life of holy passion and unreasonable faith."  I've only read the opening word and the first chapter and so far it's awesome!  I've put stars next to a number of lines that I wish to expound on, perhaps in my blog or perhaps in my personal devotion.  One of said starred-lines is as follows:

"However hidden and undramatic your witness may be, I pray the you will be daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, courageous enough to get burnt in the fire, and real enough to help others see that prose is not poetry, speech is not song, and tangibles, visibles, and perishables are not adequate for being signed with the blood of the Lamb." (Manning p. 15-16)

This stood out to me because I've never thought my witness or testimony to be that good.  There really isn't a great story to it.  Simply, a numerously broken life that has been continuously forgiven and revived by God.  But, what Manning is saying is that despite the seemingly boring tale of your convictions and passions, live Christ anyway!  Realize it's ok to make mistakes; use them to teach others and to make yourself stronger.  Take chances with your spirituality no matter what friends you may lose or whose toes you may step on.  And don't belittle yourself to thinking that you are incapable of teaching someone.  If you are a Christian than you are called to live a life that is a testimony of Christ, not a testimony of yourself.  So with every word that you say and every action that you do, teach love and forgiveness.  

In the same chapter, Manning presents two questions:
1) "Why do we so seldom hear in our day what the old lawyer said of John Vianney 1 , "An extraordinary thing happened to me today.  I saw Christ in a man."?
2) "Why don't our contagious joy, enthusiasm, and gratitude infect others with a longing for Christ?" (Manning p.19)

He explains the absence of these questions with this:
"The specter of our actual unbelief persuades us that it is not the experience that is real but, rather, our explanation of the experience.  Our beliefs - which William Blake called 'the mind-forged manacle' - distance us from the grip of personal experience." (Manning p. 20)

Mannings point to fixing this absence of experience is thus:
"Jesus, as the revealer of the Godhead, defines God as love.  In light of this revelation, we have to abandon cankerous, worm-eaten structure of legalism, moralism, and perfectionism that corrupts the Good News into an ethical code rather than a love affair." (Manning p.21)



1 John Vianney: a French parish priest who became a Catholic saint and the patron saint of parish priests

Manning, Brennan. The Signature of Jesus. Multnomah Books. Colorado Springs, Colorado. 1996.


Friday, May 29, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Constant Struggle


So, surprise surprise.  I'm having to deal with the same stupid situation that I've had to deal with for the past 6 years of working at TVR.  My parents, sadly, do not understand the concept of ministry.  

Well, 6 years ago they allowed me to apply to work at camp, but only if I sent out letters for support.  The next summer, again, my parents only let me work at camp because they knew that I was guaranteed a larger amount of money than the first summer.  The sumer after my junior year of high school my parents made me work full time half the summer before I could work at camp.  The next summer, after senior year, I was unable to work at camp due to Europe and summer school.  That was my choice.  But, my parents were very adamant about me not driving to camp during the afternoons or weekends.  

All throughout my freshman year of college, there was constant prodding by my dad about me getting a job.  But, when I would talk to him on the phone, he would say that my number one priority was class.  He considered that my job.   My parents can never make up their mind about what they want me to do!!  So again, towards the end of the year there was the usual argument about me getting a "real" job during the summer.  My parents always tell me, "You're not doing camp this summer."  I never take this very seriously because I always end up working at camp anyway.  But finally, a month before Freshman year was over, my mom said that it was up to me what I do during the summer.  She was tired of arguing with me about it.  So, to make her happy, I did summer school and then I worked at camp.  Everyone was happy.  

Well, it's another year and another argument about what I'm doing this summer.  I've accepted that I'll only ever be able to work at camp for a month because I'm always going to have to do summer school.  But again, all year, my parents bugged me about getting a job.  Just so you know, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET A JOB IN BOONE!  And again, I had a phone conversation with me dad recently where he said that he was fine with me not having a job as long as I was making good grades.  And he made the comment that, "If you can't get hired in Boone anywhere, you'll have to work somewhere, so you may have to work at camp."  That statement said to me that I could let camp know that I could work the month of June.  So I did.  I'm expected to work at camp for 4 weeks in June.  It was a hard decision for me to make because I know how much I do need to get a job and that it would be in my best interest to work in Boone, but I cannot imagine not working at camp this summer.  I would regret it so much at the end of the summer if I wasn't apart of this ministry.  

Well, this is where things get annoying and stressful and just makes me want to cry.  I told my dad a few days ago that I was going to work at camp in June.  He replied with, "You need to get a real job.  There are people getting laid off and your mom is getting 30 days without pay. Our well has run dry."  
I then got a text from my mom saying, "REAL JOB!!! What part of that don't you understand?!"

I didn't respond to either of these texts and I haven't confronted my parents about it.  I leave for Boone in 4 days.  Once I get in Boone I have 2 weeks until Staff Training.  My plan is to try and secure a job for July on campus that I can keep throughout the semester, then still work at camp for June.  I haven't told my parents this.  I figure that once I'm in Boone, they can't really do anything about it.  I always end up working at camp because I tell my parents that I'm working at camp, instead of waiting for their permission.  

What makes me sad is that I can't use any form of spiritual or religious argument with them about why I need to be at camp.  They don't get it.  They never have and they show no interest in ever trying to get it.  It's like they're completely against having anything to do with camp.  I want them to understand why it is such a big part of my life.  After everything I've been through with camp, I continue to be faithful in furthering its ministry.  I understand the command to respect your parents.  But what if doing so takes away from my opportunity to minister?  I feel that I'm being called more strongly toward working at camp and pissing my parents off for a few weeks than staying in Boone and working in a cafeteria or grocery store.  

I just hate how it's always so hard for me to work at camp.  I envy my friends who's parents are thrilled that their kid would want to spend their summer serving others and the Lord.  I just wish my parents could understand how important this is to me.

Monday, April 27, 2009

A Work In Progress


"Habitual praise-a perpetually sacred acknowledgment of the Giver of every good thing.  A relentless embracing of good and a discarding of bad with an awareness of the one who in the beginning spoke those life affirming words.  When good is found and we embrace it with abandon, we embrace the Giver of it......this is the Praise Habit.  Finding God moment by revolutionary moment, in the sacred and the mundane, in the valley and on the hill, in triumph and tragedy, and living praise erupting because of it.  This is what we were made for." -David Crowder, "Praise Habit: Finding God In Sunsets and Sushi"


This is what I'm developing: my thoughts on worship.  More will be soon to come.  And bear/bare with me, I'm not a Bible scholar or preacher.